London Naked Bike Ride 2024 – A Few Tweaks

Fifteen years on from my first World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) in London, way back in 2009, I was once again cycling around the capital’s streets wearing nothing but my sunglasses, headband and a smile. This was the fourteenth time I had participated in WNBR London, having missed only 2010 and there being no ride in 2020.

I felt in much better shape for this year’s ride than last year’s, so I checked the list of start points to decide where I would begin. The Deptford start had sadly disappeared, but the new Hackney Wick option looked tempting. Eventually, however, a booking to life model for Barbican Art Society that morning effectively made the choice for me.

So it was that I made my return to the Tower Hill start at Trinity Square Gardens. I’d last started from Tower Hill back in 2021 when I was a marshal leading from the front of the ride. Nowadays I’m happiest when immersed within the masses. Upon arriving from nearby Barbican, I found the masses were already very much on the scene.

Tower Hill to Southwark Bridge

Maybe I arrived later than usual but I’ve never seen the gardens so full. Nonetheless, somehow I managed to spot my friend Natansky, who’d founded the ride’s Tower Hill start a full decade ago. In those early days, rounding-up riders was like the proverbial herding of cats. Now, with the aid of her happy helpers, she’s got it sussed. 🙂

2:29pm at Trinity Square Gardens: the masses

The ride always attracts photographers; some professional, many voyeurs. The latter were out in force this year, but mostly smiling and respectful. One young guy, though; pale face, wispy beard behind a mask, darting about with his zoom-lens focused only on women’s genitals. I tried having a word, but he was a lost soul. Don’t be that guy.

2:43pm on Trinity Square: ready… steady…

Eight minutes before our scheduled departure time of 2:45pm, we began pushing our bikes onto Trinity Square via the north exit of the gardens. There we lingered, in keen anticipation as a last few naked cyclists – plus our lone crowd-controller wearing only her hi-vis vest – got into position. Just eight minutes later than planned, we set off.

2:53pm on Byward Street: …go! Natansky waves us out

2:57pm on Lower Thames Street: pausing

Protest gatherings and marches are a constant in London. Citizens will not be denied their right to protest! The WNBR route gets tweaked in advance so our protest avoids others; this year it needed more tweaks than ever, but not at the start: Byward Street, Lower Thames Street, Upper Thames Street, Queen Street Place, Southwark Bridge.

3:03pm on Upper Thames Street: left onto Queen Street Place

3:04pm on Southwark Bridge: southbound

Southwark Bridge to Forum Magnum Square

The familiar route continued: from Southwark Bridge to Southwark Bridge Road, then right into Sumner Street, veering left around the south of Tate Modern before another right turn, into Southwark Street. Then came tweak #1: instead of heading back north across Blackfriars Bridge we continued onwards, direct into Stamford Street.

3:06pm on Southwark Bridge Road: right onto Sumner Street

3:12pm on the A3200: from Southwark Street to Stamford Street

Whilst the route’s tweaks avoided other protests, maybe an unintended consequence was that we found ourselves in the way of fire engines on emergency calls. With blue lights flashing behind, we hastily moved to the kerb on Stamford Street so fire engine no.1 could pass by without delay. In fourteen London rides, this was a first for me.

3:15pm on Stamford Street: fire engine no.1

3:16pm on Stamford Street: forever blowing bubbles

3:18pm on Stamford Street: selfie with bubbles

Our route change not only cut out Blackfriars Bridge but also Embankment, Trafalgar Square, Whitehall and Westminster Bridge. Whitehall has long been too tricky but it’s sad to lose them all. Safety and pragmatism must come first, though. Cornwall Road, Upper Ground and Belvedere Road took us to Forum Magnum Square.

3:21pm on Upper Ground: National Theatre

3:23pm on Belvedere Road: London Eye

3:25pm on Belvedere Road: approaching Forum Magnum Square

3:30pm at Forum Magnum Square: posse of ride organisers

Forum Magnum Square to Lincoln’s Inn Fields

Cutting chunks from the ride meant it took us just 35 minutes to get from Tower Hill to Forum Magnum Square; it had taken 55 minutes in 2021. With the sun behind clouds and a chill to the air, I would have gladly cut a chunk from our time spent waiting here for riders from other starts to join us. Mercifully, after 25 minutes we moved on.

3:53pm on Forum Magnum Square: preparing to move on

3:55pm on Belvedere Road: hey, that’s me in the background! – © Faye Kinnit

4:06pm on Stamford Street: left onto Blackfriars Road

We retraced our tracks on Belvedere Road but instead of taking our traditional return north via Waterloo Bridge, we went along Upper Ground, Broadwall, Stamford Street, Blackfriars Road and north at last on Blackfriars Bridge. I suspect this route tweak #2 owed more to avoiding roadworks than avoiding other protests.

4:08pm on Blackfriars Bridge: eyes right for St Paul’s Cathedral

4:10pm off Blackfriars Bridge: onto New Bridge Street

From Blackfriars Bridge we had a brief glimpse of St Paul’s Catherdral – the first time I’d seen it on a WNBR since we skirted it in 2012. Tweak #2 continued to New Bridge Street, then left on Fleet Street, before a right into Chancery Lane put us back on our familiar route to Lincoln’s Inn Fields via Carey Street and Serle Street.

4:16pm on Fleet Street: right onto Chancery Lane

4:18pm on Lincoln’s Inn Fields: ride regulars, always colourful

4:28pm at Lincoln’s Inn Fields: me in the middle, having a stretch – © tony mudd

4:36pm at Lincoln’s Inn Fields: caught on camera again – © Ðariusz

Lincoln’s Inn Fields to Shaftesbury Avenue

In contrast to Forum Magnum Square, when the sun broke through cloud at Lincoln’s Inn Fields it felt blissfully energising. Riders relaxed, some danced, and I chatted with two great guys I’d met randomly on last year’s ride. When we left, it was via Remnant Street, Great Queen Street and then – tweak #3 – Newton Street and High Holborn.

4:42pm on Remnant Street: those great guys behind me

4:44pm on Newton Street: this was indeed new

4:46pm on High Holborn: solidarity with Palestine

4:47pm on High Holborn: cyclists… but Evans Cycles is closed.

High Holborn led into what was, for me, the highlight of our ride: Shaftesbury Avenue. Tourists and Londoners gleefully cheered us here like nowhere else. Such a fantastic vibe. We must tweak this way again! That said, it sent us past Soho Fire Station, and once again we had to make space for a fire engine with its sirens wailing.

4:55pm on Shaftesbury Avenue: through Theatreland

4:57pm on Shaftesbury Avenue: fire engine no.2

4:58pm on Shaftesbury Avenue: check your prostate!

4:58pm on Shaftesbury Avenue: accidental selfie

Shaftesbury Avenue to The Mall

Just before reaching the Piccadilly Circus end of Shaftesbury Avenue we went left on Great Windmill Street, then slalomed down to Haymarket. In bygone years we’d have cycled from Lincoln’s Inn Fields via Covent Garden and Trafalgar Square to The Mall, but tweak #4 eschewed Cockspur Street and Admiralty Arch in favour of Pall Mall.

4:59pm on Shaftesbury Avenue: left onto Great Windmill Street

5:01pm on Haymarket: hey hey Haymarket

5:02pm on Pall Mall: with these wings

So, from the end of Haymarket we took a right into Pall Mall and went onwards to the elongated roundabout at its western end. Here, a left down Marlborough Road at last led us to The Mall. Pall Mall is not without prettiness, but… it’s grey. This unavoidable tweak sadly bypassed two-thirds of The Mall, but the crucial final third remained.

5:03pm on Pall Mall: pausing, pausing

5:10pm on Pall Mall: pausing, posing

5:13pm on Pall Mall: left onto Marlborough Road

The Mall to Wellington Arch

Upon swinging right from Marlborough Road to The Mall, we savoured a leisurely roll along its westernmost slice of magnificence to the Victoria Memorial. As I turned onto Constitution Hill, whom did I encounter next to Buckingham Palace? None other than WNBR London’s own royalty: Natansky, again. Had to get our selfies on The Mall.

5:15pm on The Mall: Buckingham Palace pageantry, WNBR-style

5:16pm on Constitution Hill: catching up with Natansky at the palace

At 5:18pm on Constitution Hill, after two hours and twenty-five minutes cycling naked around London, I had entered the home straight. All riders had chosen where to start, and now all were finishing at the same place, at their own pace. WNBR is a collective effort, but one within which there are hundreds of very personal experiences.

5:18pm on Constitution Hill: the home straight

5:21pm at Wellington Arch: end-of-the-line sunshine

5:24pm at Wellington Arch: and we’re done!

The sun crowned Wellington arch as I made my approach. For all the changes made to the 2024 ride, this grand portal remains a satisfying finish line. Tweaks had been a necessity and whilst those in the first half had been dull, the Shaftesbury Avenue one was a brilliant success. I guess that’s a fair balance. Fair play to the organisers.

Our route from Tower Hill to Wellington Arch

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