Shirley Methodist Church, Croydon, 18 November 2024

Simply sitting in stillness. It’s so welcome and sometimes so necessary. When I’m life modelling I prefer short-duration dynamic poses that project an energetic tension, but for portrait modelling I turn my focus inwards, radiating only gentle quiet calm.

Even after a long walk on a cold wet mid-November evening, I was grateful to find an enforced peace of mind at the end of what has been a challenging period for me. Not stewing endlessly on negative thoughts or unresolvable circular worries. Just being.

Over the past two years, both my elderly parents have been sliding ever-more rapidly to age-related diminished mental capacity. Memory loss. Confusion. I’ve been a carer as best I can, often visiting and making their meals on my way to evening jobs.

But it’s now overwhelming. Five months in the ‘system’, tests and assessments, NHS and social services, yet still no formal diagnoses so no support forthcoming. It’s even been traumatic trying to organise private home care visits. Until this day. At last.

The arrangement is not yet ideal (can one ever be?) but prior to this job I was able to introduce a carer to my parents and, for the first time, leave their house knowing they had a safety net of sorts. Another person to call in each day, help out, make dinner.

And so here with The Croydon Art Society, I did not sit serenely believing problems had all been solved or relinquished. I did not even feel satisfaction. Only relief. Relief that one hurdle had been cleared and I could draw breath before tackling the next.

Supporting a loved one (or, for me, a loved pair) living with dementia is both mentally and emotionally draining. I can’t begin to imagine how it is for my parents themselves. Thank you, Croydon Art Society; for inviting me, and for all your friendly warmth.

Pose minutes, 7:30pm-9:30pm

Part 1 : 55.
— break —
Part 2 : 45 continuation.

Artworks

With apologies to artists I’m unable to credit.

Artwork by Jenny Arnold.

Artwork by Jenny Arnold.

Artwork by jenniegro.

Artwork by Evi.

Artwork by Mandy Gomm.

Artwork by Mandy Gomm.

Photo by Mandy Gomm.