When I modelled for Hesketh Hubbard Art Society at Mall Galleries in late October last year, artist numbers were low. Pre-vaccine, we were between COVID lockdowns and understandably many people still observed self-imposed restrictions. A year later the pandemic remains but, notwithstanding more than a thousand deaths each week, medically and mentally we’re in a different place. Now the room was busy.
This evening I was to sit for Hesketh Hubbard’s portrait artists. My throne awaited me at the west end of the main space, framed on all sides by beautiful, colourful, uplifting works from the Society of Wildlife Artists‘ annual exhibition 2021, ‘The Natural Eye‘. At 6pm, I froze in position and fixed my gaze point. Having removed my spectacles, it was more a ‘gaze haze’ than a gaze point. Nonetheless, I eyeballed it attentively.
The first hour was comfortable enough. My only sense of time’s passage comes from overhearing calls for the model on short poses to “change, please” every 15 minutes. I’ve no reason to doubt the accuracy of these calls but while locked within myself and under the intense scrutiny of artists, some 15-minutes seem to last much longer than others. At the interval I drank tea and gorged on copious biscuits before resuming.
Artworks by Dmitry Shaklanoff-von Seipt.
The second hour was, for reasons I would struggle to define, less satisfying. My mind lacked focus in its wanderings and my legs wanted to stretch out; or maybe it was my legs that needed to wander and my mind to be stretched. Also I was mortified when it was pointed out belatedly that my hair had shifted to cover one ear and should be put back. Details are important. But we made it through, and the art was outstanding.
The portrait above is by Desmond Sloane: on the left, work accomplished in 2 hours; on the right, the same work having been completed sans-model in the studio.
This return to Lochaber Hall for Saturday morning life drawing came exactly 2 years and 4 days since my last visit. I had been meant model there on 4 April 2020 but that booking was an early casualty of the pandemic. Still, better late than never. Eighteen months later than expected, I was back… and it was as though nothing had changed. As I ascended Lochaber Road, the familiar old brick building waited patiently, sturdily squatting on high. Inside, an arc of well-spaced easels embraced my pose space.
We began with six poses of 5-minutes each. I like this format a lot as it speaks to my preference for multiple dynamic poses, whilst allowing the artists just enough time for extra observation and consideration of their basic mark-making. But really quick work was to follow: ten poses of 1-minute each. Next, going from one extreme to the other, it was time to set-up the session’s long pose that would last around 2 hours. Naïvely I asked what kind of pose they would prefer. The answer: would standing be OK?
I’m an obliging chap so of course it was OK. Having said that, if anyone had insisted I sprawl down on soft pillows and sheets, I may have kissed the hem of their garments. Instead I opted for a simple, sustainable, balanced posture and settled in. By keeping it simple, I could get through with just two breaks; one for tea and one to stretch. This meant less disruption for the pose and the artists’ flow of concentration. Not everyone found room for my feet on the page, but this is usual! The rest of me was done proud.
Just a fortnight on from the end of her last 5-week online life drawing course, Joanna McCormick was back with her next term. Once again, I was honoured with the job of providing poses for week 1 of 5, this time on the theme of ‘shading’.
With autumn nights drawing in, it’s no longer certain that natural light will be sufficient for a 4pm to 6pm slot. I set-up an extra table lamp by my pose space as a precaution, but also realised I could use it to cast varying shadows as we progressed.
After reviewing some excellent drawings of dauntingly sublime poses from last term’s final session, Jo gave a demo of various shading techniques. We then got under way with five poses of 1 minute, two of 3 minutes and one of 5 minutes.
Slight longer poses of 10 minutes and 15 minutes followed – each time I repositioned my lamp with the hope of enlivening any shadow contrasts. Next came the 20-minute close-up portrait slot. For this shading session I was asked to wear… shades! 🙂
Aside from the general unusualness of posing in sunglasses, the weird aspect for me was being able to see clearly. I always take off my spectacles when modelling but my shades have prescription lenses. I could focus at last, but only on my own four walls.
For the final 30-minute pose, I got back into character with a trademark smörgåsbord of lines and angles. My left foot kept me guessing as to whether it might slip from the chair at any moment, but ultimately behaved. It had been a fun session.
It’s always a delicate moment when one expects to be posing naked in front of artists at the local church hall, but instead finds the place still swarming with Brownies. So it was at Hayes Free Church on Monday, where the Brownies were supposed to leave at quarter past seven so West Wickham Arts Association life drawing could start at half-past. It was Brownies’ enrolment evening, however, and they were running late. I guess I could have brought matters to a head simply by walking in and undressing…
Fortunately there was no need. A few gentle representations from the artists was all it took to get the last stragglers out the door while we were still only ten minutes behind schedule. Meanwhile, on the plus side, more and more artists had arrived. The petrol shortage at the pumps meant just five people turned up to draw last week. With tanks filled-up again, I was pleased to see more than twice that number were sitting around me in an arc as I opened with two 10-minute poses (I’d travelled by train myself).
After one standing pose and one seated pose, I stood again for 25 minutes, taking us to a break for tea and biscuits. I feel I’m eating relentlessly these days so resisted the offer to partake but, just like the Brownies, our interval overran and with each passing minute my resolve weakened till eventually I was on the outside of two McVitie’s dark chocolate digestives and a mug of PG Tips. I was then summoned back into position, once more to search for my inner skinny model.
The final pose lasted between 40 and 45 minutes. I sat side-saddle on a sofa and did my customary angular thing with legs and arms. Lots of straight lines, negative space and confounding proportions to grapple with. Everyone seemed in high spirits despite my challenges and starting each half late. The group had only resumed in September for the first time since last March. After 18 months with no sessions at all, a few minor delays must have seemed a trifling inconvenience. It was good to see them back.
That most encouraging of sights greeted me as I entered the high-ceilinged Victorian art building of The Conservatoire in Blackheath: a full complement of artists’ easels set-out in a circle. In-person life drawing is back and perhaps more popular than ever. A wooden platform awaited me in the round. I positioned layers of foam across it to a satisfactory depth, spread my trusty white sheet over the top and was ready to begin. When tutor Victoria Rance and ten artists were ready too, I started with a traditional warm-up sequence: three poses of 1 minute, one of 5 minutes, one of 10 minutes.
There were plenty of new young faces behind the pencils extended at arm’s length to measure my proportions. This is also encouraging, though it would be nice to see the pre-pandemic regulars enjoying their practice too. I hope they’ve stayed well and can return in their own good time. Meanwhile my next priority was to prepare a long pose. Victoria had a clear vision: my platform was moved to a side wall and a high stool put on top for me to part-sit, part-lean upon for around 2 hours. Quite straightforward and symmetrical; I think my only creative input was to rest my hands on my thighs.
Once in position I felt pretty good – more optimistic for relative comfort than fearful of aching endurance. And so it was. Only three rest breaks were required between 8pm and 10pm. Nothing in the pose was painful; stretches were taken solely to relieve the creeping effect of changelessness stiffening my muscles. Warmth is the other crucial factor for comfort and this was very well provided by two ceramic heating elements in the electric heater at my feet. I’ll take one of this type rather than multiple fan heaters any day. A tropical cocoon is assured.
When artists observe my upright figure in a long pose, their primary challenge seems always to be getting the proportions right. Specifically, overriding what their brain tells them about the more-often observed relative proportionalities of body and leg lengths so they can accurately represent my own somewhat freakish ratios. In this pose, they had the extra complication of angled legs lending a foreshortening effect from certain perspectives. All things considered, I reckon they did splendidly. I hope they returned home feeling as pleased with their artworks as I was.
Life modelling resumed with a booking from Jo McCormick. It was for a session that would form part of a 5-week online course. When she posted her schedule of themes to be covered each week, I guessed immediately which was my destiny:
- Week 1 – shapes
- Week 2 – colour
- Week 3 – pastels
- Week 4 – Degas
- Week 5 – Alice Neel
Sure enough, I would be making shapes. To the begin, Jo gave quick demonstrations of simplification, drawing shapes in the figure, and abstraction of the figure by looking for shapes. Then it was my turn for the spotlight with some quickfire work.
We opened with three 1-minute poses, three 2-minute poses, two 3-minutes poses, a 5-minute pose and a 10-minute pose. For the first nine, I evoked rectangles, triangles and arcs with my limbs whilst either standing or kneeling. For the tenth, I took a seat.
Having settled into a 10-minute seated pose with one arm hooked high behind me on the back of the chair, it occurred to me I might regret it. But no, it remained a painless position, taking me through to my 20-minute portrait pose.
Online portrait poses can feel more painful in the sense that the webcam needs to be brought excruciatingly close. If you’re paranoid about any aspect of your appearance, don’t try this at home! Sweet relief, we finished with a ‘long’ pose of 30 minutes.
Whether through loose lineaments, audacious shading or a crescendo of colours, the artists enjoyed maximum creative self-expression for this final half-hour, finishing with flourishes. I’d enjoyed myself too. It felt like a good workout for us all.
My fourth and final World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) of 2021 was to be Brighton on Sunday 15 August. After the deluge on Folkestone, showers in Coventry and sunny streets of London, what would fate throw at us back on the south coast? As it turned out, rather than fickle fate it was the fickleness of Network Rail that first intervened.
With just a week’s notice, Network Rail announced emergency engineering work and replacement buses for the London to Brighton line on the day of the ride. Bugger! No way would there be space for scores of bikes on buses, so I bought a ticket to go the long way round: a 3-hour rail trip via Havant. Then… they cancelled the works! D’oh!
Park and ride
Leaving London Waterloo at 09:30, I arrived in Brighton at 12:23; a protracted journey is no problem when there’s keen anticipation. I cycled to our Preston Park start point and entered its fenced enclosure for participants. After much loitering, a spot of lunch and a bit of body painting, we were all set. The fence came down shortly before 2pm.
1:58pm in Preston Park: freedom – © Funk Dooby
We took the usual route from Preston Park. After exiting our grassy compound onto a pathway by the north side, we continued anticlockwise on wide paths around its edge. While waiting at the southern tip I suddenly realised I didn’t have my whistle! I hunted through my panniers in vain. It had gone. Arrgh! I’d left it in Green Park, London! 😦
2:01pm leaving Preston Park: off-road warm-up
2:04pm leaving Preston Park: whistle stop – © wightrider
Northern territory
Our gateway to the streets of Brighton was a left turn onto Stanford Avenue, followed by a hairpin right into Beaconsfield Road that led us downhill under a railway viaduct. Not that I knew at this stage, but compared with the last ride two years ago, the 2021 route had three changes. The first of these was an early left into Viaduct Road.
2:07pm on Stanford Avenue: onto the streets
2:09pm on Beaconsfield Road: via the viaduct…
2:12pm on Beaconsfield Road: …and now left into Viaduct
It seemed the sensible way to go. I guess there must have been roadworks or similar that forced us to stay on Beaconsfield last time and go left at narrower Oxford Street. Either way, we emerged right onto Ditchling Road and continued in glorious sunshine around St Peter’s Place for another right at the Phoenix Art Centre.
2:16pm on Ditchling Road: background boy – © Funk Dooby
2:17pm on St Peter’s Place: swinging right
To the pier
We now proceeded more-or-less directly south towards the Palace Pier. The descent took us from Waterloo Place to Richmond Place – occupied by fellow protestors from Extinction Rebellion – and into Grand Parade. From there we cycled on past Valley Garden and Victoria Gardens to enter Pavilion Parade and Old Steine.
2:19pm on Richmond Place: respect to Extinction Rebellion
2:23pm on Old Steine: big joy – © Funk Dooby
2:24pm on Old Steine: still smiling – © Graham Brown
The southern end of Old Steine, like the southern end of Preston Park, is a traditional place to tarry and regroup. The atmosphere thus far had been mardi gras all the way; music and colour, frippery and flags, whoops and cheers, pure positivity. Stiff breezes were blasting in from the Channel, sure, but conditions were still great for a ride.
2:25pm on Old Steine: the masses behind me
Seafront superstars
Our feelgood factor was about to go one louder. Coronavirus (COVID-19) restrictions had forced the ride to be postponed from June to August but the delay of two months meant we also benefitted both from warmer summer weather and an absolute throng of holidaymakers along the seafront by the pier. And they loved us!
2:27pm on Old Steine: towards tourist heaven
2:28pm on Grand Junction Road: westward Hove
Ordinary members of the public, people no different to us, roared their support as we swung right into Grand Junction Road then followed the coast – passing that tall ugly shaft-thing with a ring going up and down it – into Kings Road and Kingsway, until we reached Hove Lawns. Exhilarating! Here we would have our first and only rest stop.
2:33pm on Kings Road: passing the thing there
2:36pm on Kings Road: "She ❤ compost"
Out to grass
This year there was to be no rest stop at Old Steine Gardens where social distancing would be impossible along narrow paths. Instead we had 20 minutes at Hove Lawns. There was more mingling than distancing here, but at least we had persistent coastal breezes to disperse every breath. As for me, I just sat and took it easy.
2:40pm on Kingsway: arrival at Hove Lawns
2:47pm on Hove Lawns: nudes with messages
3:01pm leaving Hove Lawns: break time’s over
When moving again, our second route change sent us north on Grand Avenue rather than seven roads down on St Aubyns. It took us around the Queen Victoria Memorial with its statue of the monarch whose era defined English prudishness. Fitting that we should parade our liberated 21st century breasts, buttocks, vulvas and penises here.
3:03pm on Kingsway: a new way north
3:07pm on Grand Avenue: short cut to Church Road
Return to centre
Grand Avenue or St Aubyns, both were a means to the same end; specifically, a right turn onto Church Road. This started us in a long procession east from Hove, through Brunswick Town towards the city centre. Police escort cyclists, who had been with us from the outset, continued to keep us safe and supported on this usually-busy road.
3:11pm on Church Road: mini zigzag
3:13pm on Western Road: can you see me? – © Funk Dooby
Church Road led into Western Road where every now and then we stopped for traffic ahead. One such stop was outside The Temple Bar, whose customers welcomed us with uproarious cheers. All, that is, except one table where three young lads brooded in stony-faced silence. Everywhere was glee yet they clearly felt only disgust. Why?
3:21pm on Western Road: backsides and clean air
Many people still presume it’s illegal to be naked in public, yet the Crown Prosecution Service recommends ‘In the absence of any sexual context […] where the person has no intention to cause alarm or distress it will normally be appropriate to take no action unless members of the public were actually caused harassment, alarm or distress…‘
3:23pm on Western Road: passing Jubilee Clock Tower
3:25pm on North Street: “It’s getting hot in here!”
So we continued in joyous spirits on Western Road, passing Jubilee Clock Tower into North Street. Our third and final change of route from 2019 was that instead of a right turn at Ship Street for a loop around to Old Steine Gardens, we just carried on ahead. Here, in my Spirited Bodies body paint, I heard a fellow life model call my name…
3:27pm on North Street: glitter boy – © lupuskool
Laine loop
The voice belonged to outstanding veteran London model and artist, Ed. Unexpected encounters are a bonus on these rides, and it was good to learn he’d been doing well with his art in particular. Meanwhile we continued to Castle Square, left at Old Steine, passed the Royal Pavilion, and turned left again at Marlborough Place.
3:28pm on Old Steine: me, Ed and a pavilion – © Louise Yates
3:29pm on Marlborough Place: passing North Gate
3:31pm on Gloucester Place: a wave to the drummers
3:34pm on Sydney Street: in North Laine
Our next trajectory was a loop through the characterful narrow streets of North Laine. Marlborough Place took us to Gloucester Place, where drummers set a tempo for our left into Gloucester Street. Another left put us southbound again, down quirky Sydney Street, Gloucester Road, Robert Street, North Road, Jubilee Street and New Road.
3:37pm on New Road: completing the loop
Look East
Emerging on North Street again, I found myself riding alongside another friendly face. This time it was Pawel, one of the London ride marshals. He was still fully dressed as he’d only just left work but, all credit to him, with 15-minutes of the ride remaining and no more scheduled stops, he nonetheless somehow managed to strip before the end.
3:38pm on St James’s Street: towards Kemptown
From North Street, Castle Square and St James’s Street, we crossed Old Steine and began our eastward pilgrimage through Kemptown. I tend to think this part of the ride is merely a means to an end; our goal being Brighton’s naturist beach. But in fairness to the people here, although fewer in number, they always give us plenty of support.
3:41pm on St James’s Street: “Proud bike-sexual” 🙂
3:44pm on Bristol Road: “Be naked, be free”
St James’s Street led us to Upper St James’s Street, which became Bristol Road and then St George’s Road. Towards the end of St George’s Road, before we turned right at Eaton Place, I spotted an older couple ahead whom I’d seen at every ride this year, always fabulously decorated, always topical. Marvellous to find them here too.
3:47pm on St George’s Road: decorated regulars
Down the mound
Not far to go now. A left turn out of Eaton Place put us on Marine Parade, from where we took a sharp right down the steep gradient of Duke’s Mound. During the course of this year’s rides I’d noticed my back brakes were starting to get rather spongy, so this was a good test for them. They just about passed. Just about.
3:48pm on Marine Parade: to a final decline
3:50pm on Duke’s Mound: steepness
3:51pm on Duke’s Mound: jubilation – © Funk Dooby
On the descent I offered thanks to a random police officer for their positive support all afternoon. Then, having arrived safely in one piece at the bottom, I swung sharply left around the hairpin into Madeira Drive – our home straight. I savoured each of the last few yards before easing up to our final destination: Black Rock Car Park.
3:53pm on Madeira Drive: end of the road
3:54pm by Black Rock Car Park: end of the ride
Beached
Hardier people than myself went straight across the naturist beach and into the sea. I simply got dressed, locked my bike and walked over to where my partner Esther and our friend Rodger were sheltering from the by-now strong winds. There’s a time to be naked and a time share a celebratory bottle of wine. Cheers to Brighton WNBR!
4:22pm at Brighton Naturist Beach: blown out
Our route from Preston Park to the nudist beach
More on WNBR Brighton 2021
- protest against the global dependency on oil
- curb car culture
- obtain real rights for cyclists
- demonstrate the vulnerability of cyclists on city streets
- celebrate body freedom
Bygone blogs
Previously on the Brighton Naked Bike Ride:
